Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
