not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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