I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Come share oat with me in your robe
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
