She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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