don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
