im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Do vagina's smell?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
