god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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