2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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