Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
