My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
did i walk over a car last night?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
