I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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