Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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