Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
nutella sex= disaster
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
