So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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