This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I wish there were birth control emojis
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
