Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
