Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
