dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
