Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she peed on how many people?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
