When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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