I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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