You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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