He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
