the condom got lost in my hair
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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