My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
