What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
