She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
