He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
