I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
