so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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