For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
