you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize