im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
