how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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