Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Fuck appropriateness.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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