she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
