I'm going to jail i love you
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm passing your future prison.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
