We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
