what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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