I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
