Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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