no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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