I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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