It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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