I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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