You can't motorboat a personality
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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