we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
