They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
