I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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