I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
