That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize