Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
