Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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