WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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