so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
