Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
