Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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