how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
