Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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