i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
