It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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