have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
