I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
