Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
