The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize