he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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